Monday, October 7, 2013


Does anyone else think the Febreze commercials are a little ridiculous? (I'm sorry Febreze, I'm sure your product is good. All I know is that every time I'm pregnant the smell makes me chunder. Incidentally for all of you who were wondering what "chunder" is--you now know.)

Febreze's latest commercial shows a couple on a romantic getaway at a nice beach house.At the end of their stay the Febreze people pick up the couch cushions where the couple has been lounging for the past week and the underneath is filled with garbage. Surprise!! Somehow the couple is totally fine with it and somewhat thrilled. "We had no idea!!! Haha ha That's so wonderful!"

Umm what?? Even if I couldn't smell the stench, I really can't imagine being delighted that I had been deceived by the beach owners and that I had been napping, watching TV, and making out all week long only a few inches from maggot-covered food. And what did they do to our tooth-brushes while we were at beach?   

I hope for Halloween they up their game commercial-wise. I really want to see where they go with them. I hope this time it's a body that's been kept under the couch cushions in a special compartment. I'd kill to see that couple.

"My goodness. We had no idea! That's delightful!"
"Yes, I couldn't even smell the decaying flesh!"

On a positive note, I have stopped cleaning up the house. I just shove all the garbage and poopy diapers under my couch and spray a little Febreze. It's wonderful!!

Side note:
I have to give credit where credit is due. The third paragraph was all my husband. We're a good team.

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Not Your Breakfast of Champions

This morning I was getting the kids breakfast before school.I noticed an open bag of Kit Kats on the counter and wondered why they were there. I put them back in the cupboard for Halloween.

My husband left for work a few minutes later, but stopped short. "Who took my breakfast?" He asked looking around confused.

I looked confused too. "You said you didn't want anything, so I didn't make you anything."

He didn't respond as he was busy looking for his breakfast. That's when it hit me. I stopped short. "Wait . . .are you referring to the bag of Kit Kats that was left on the counter as your 'breakfast'??"

Travis looked up relieved, "Yah, where are they?"

I just stared at him. "Let me get this straight. You are going to eat a HALF bag of Kit Kats. . .all in one sitting . . . for your breakfast?"

Travis looked at me like I was being ridiculous. "It's not all Kit Kat's in there. It's Reeses, Snickers and Twix too."

I stared at this man that I had chosen of my own free will and choice to marry, this man that for all intents and purposes is incredibly smart. "You do realize that's not any better right?"

He just rolled his eyes.

Before he shut the door I called out to him, "Please raise the amount of our life insurance policy today while you're at work and make sure it's submitted before you fall into your diabetic coma."

I guess that's why you don't buy Halloween candy this early and why we have life insurance.