Monday, February 18, 2013

Downton Shabbey *Spoiler Alert*

Dear Downton-

Really "City of Angels" that's the ending you chose?
The reason we watch your show is to get away from real life. We know tragedies such as the one last night happen, but must we put them into our fantasy world?

In Downton, when their wives are pregnant and after they give birth, husbands like Matthew say ridiculously sappy things like, "My darling, how I love you more everyday." And "You've made me the happiest man on the earth."

In real life when I 'm pregnant  I can be expected to hear, "Can you throw up in the other bathroom? I'm trying to watch a show. It's making me sick." And when I give birth, "Wow. I didn't know you could scream that loud. Everyone was looking at you. Were you embarrassed?"
And my personal favorite, while watching a show where a man is complimenting his wife on how beautiful she is pregnant.

Me (pregnant) talking to my husband: "Ohh, how sweet. Is that how you feel?"
Him: "No. Fat's just not attractive."

In my husband's defense, it's not like I'd find a big belly attractive on him either. 

For the Love-- Matthew was all we had!

Now to be fair to the writer's, I had read on the internet that Matthew didn't sign on for season four. So I was expecting something major to happen, but where's your creativity? You could have "gotten rid of him," without actually getting rid of him. Home Improvement never showed anything but Wilson's eyes for how many years? Or how about police shows, where victims don't want to be seen. Use the dang fuzzy circle over new Matthew's face. We don't care who Matthew is, he just makes Downtown-fix it you fools. We will buy anything, this is after all a soap opera. Face transplant, funny after-birth-prank, dream sequence, you pick.

I have to go now, I have been trying all morning to book a flight to Downton for the funeral. They keep telling me it doesn't exist.

What a bunch of idiots. It's right next to Hogwarts.


  1. I was sad to see Matthew go, I have to say I was kind of pleased that they killed him off so finally. Mary couldn't have moved on if there was any question of where he was, and, quite frankly, I was so pissed at the actor that played Matthew for quitting that I was glad they gave him an "up yours" end. No way he can return now. You made your choice, buddy. Live with it. And, by the time they got to his death, I was so damn happy Mary didn't lose the baby (because they totally tried with that misdirection) that I didn't care anymore that Matthew had died.

    That being said, Matthew absolutely brought out the best in Mary and I'm so hopeful that she holds on to that and becomes a good mother and behaves the way Matthew always thought she would. If she turns out to be like Shrimpy's wife (WTF with the name Shrimpy, BTW) I'll have to stop watching.

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    2. Haha yes! What the Shrimpy?!? I bet one of the writer's did that on a dare.

      "Dude. They seriously accepted it. The script went out like that, his name is totally Shrimpy for real!"

      Truth be told, when Matthew got super sappy, I was OK that he was done. He was starting to make me uncomfortable.

  2. I just booked my ticket to downton. I have to layover in Narnia though.

    1. Dude, they routed me through Foo! What's up with that?! You got Narnia? I guess you'll get Turkish Delight and tea . . . who knows what the heck I get!

  3. Here, here, Katie. It will be ok. I loved your idea of the eyes over the fence, but they would have had to use rock walls, and it just doesn't have the same effect.
    Take it from me. If they keep the same writers, this is what we'll look forward to in the next season:
    * Isobel Crawley will work as a nurse for Dr. Clarkson. A patient will arrive who is wrapped from head to toe in white mummy cloths. He will wonder why his mother doesn't recognize him or his voice. But he convinces her he is really Matthew because he knows the secret combination to the family safe. Isobel is so happy Matthew is alive that she celebrates with Dr. Clarkson - who sadly has a heart attack in her bed later that night and dies.
    * Lady Edith scandalizes the family by becoming pregnant with Michael Gregson's lovechild. Shortly thereafter she discovers his wife is not in a sanitarium. Truth be told, Mrs. Gregson died in childbirth but Michael can't bring himself to remarry, so that is the story he told Lady Edith.
    * Sir Anthony Strallon and Thomas Barrow fall in love. Thomas shares his sad background which lead to him becoming a "falmboyant man." You see, his mother fell off a horse, which put her into early labor. She delivered Thomas in the forest, where they were later discovered. She died from blood loss, but Thomas survived. He has felt guilty ever since.
    * Sarah O'Brien's husband gets out of prison and comes to visit. He is sad to see she has become such a hardened women. Before she had her six children she was very loving. The death of each of her six children at childbirth, followed by her husband being incarcerated and then her having to "walk the streets" to have money for food must have made her snap and become such a pitiful creature.
    * Martha Levinson returns to Downton. She tries to convince her daughter, Lady Cora, that in her "previous life" she was a midwife. She was killed at the stake by several men whose wives had died at childbirth. (Note: Martha Levinson thinks she also may have been a circus gypsey in a different previous life - but that's waaaay to obvious.)
    and finally...
    * Lord Grantham discovers he is not the legitimate heir to Downton. On her deathbed, Violet Crawley confesses. Years earlier, she and her twin sister had been pregnant at the same time. Her sister was married to the previous Lord Grantham, but Violet was just a housemaid in a nearby castle who had gotten pregnant by a visiting soldier. While visiting the castle one day, Violet's sister fell down the stairs. BOTH she and her baby died during childbirth. Violet wrapped her head in white strips of cloth and pretended to be her sister. Shortly thereafter little Robert Crawley was born. It was a miracle they both lived. Sadly, the elder Lord Grantham died in a stable fire the same day and he was never able to tell the world that Violet was a fake.

    So, you see, Matthew (or his identity theft person) does survive and the family goes on. Feel better now?

    (Oh, and what do you bet they bring another war into the story? The writers just have no creativity :)

    1. I bet they'll make it a World War, too, again . . . man talk about lack of creativity . . .